


It Don't Come Easy

by Telesilla



Series: I Only Want Your Trust [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, Dom/sub, Episode Tag, First Time, M/M, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-30
Updated: 2011-01-30
Packaged: 2017-10-15 05:46:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/157636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of "The Storm/The Eye" John really needs grounding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Don't Come Easy

**Author's Note:**

> The concept of BDSM universes, where whether you're a sub or a top matters more than your gender, has always fascinated me. After a discussion elsewhere, I decided it was time to try my hand at the trope. This is the first of a planned series of fics set in the same verse, but it can be read as a standalone piece.
> 
> Thank you to Helens78 for the beta and to all of you who offered medicinal cupcakes and/or encouragement. You know who you are. :)
> 
> The titles of both of the fic and the series are from "It Don't Come Easy" by Ringo Starr.

John leaned against the balcony railing and watched the storm move further and further away. Soon he probably wouldn't be able to see it at all and, strangely enough, he almost missed it. Well, no, of course he didn't miss thinking Elizabeth was dead or fearing for her and Rodney's lives or the cold or the rain or the nagging surety that the city would sink if he did the wrong thing. He didn't even miss the killing. What he missed was the clear sense of purpose, the sense of _service_.

He was supposed to feel like that all the time; all subs in the military were. He hardly ever had, though. In fact, the one time he'd felt like he was truly serving, it had been about the people and not some abstract concept, and he'd damn near gotten court-martialed over it.

And even now, as he watched the lighting and dark clouds grow fainter on the horizon, the feeling nagged at him. As much as John hated examining his feelings, he couldn't help trying to figure it out. He'd dropped payloads back on Earth that made killing fifty Genii with the push of a button look like nothing. He'd also been on missions far more complicated than running around the city using a lifesigns detector to find his prey. Nor was the sense of danger, the possibility that he might die or the knowledge that he was the only one capable of completing the mission anything new.

The answer was pretty obvious. In six months, something about Atlantis had gotten to him where years of training and indoctrination on Earth had failed. It was both comforting, because it meant that there really wasn't anything wrong with him and never had been, and a little confusing. Why now? Why Atlantis?

He sighed and turned away. He'd already felt restless and a little antsy thanks to the adrenaline drop, and this didn't really help. It was ironic, really--after missions like this on Earth, his commanding officers had always been there to tell him that he'd done a good job, that they were proud of him. He'd hated it then because he was a sub, not a child, but now, when he needed some kind of...well, grounding, there was no one he could go to.

Only that wasn't exactly true. No, there was no one in the military he could go to. The Marines had, for the most part, gotten used to having a sub as a commander, but there was no way one of them was going to give him the talk; that just wouldn't work on either side. That was, after all, one of the reasons subs got rank but rarely commanded units or bases.

However, Elizabeth was the boss and Rodney was a department head; John knew perfectly well that they both had plenty of experience dealing with the subs who worked for them. And what was more, they were his friends and, hopefully, knew him well enough not to condescend too much.

The question was, he thought as he left the balcony and headed down the hall, who should he talk to? Elizabeth would probably be kind and say the right things and even mean them. Rodney, on the other hand, tended to be brusque with the subs who worked for him, but he wasn't totally unkind and, at least from what John had seen, he condescended to everyone regardless of orientation.

Of course, the more he thought about it, the more he wasn't sure that now was the time. Elizabeth had been pretty shaky, and Rodney had actually been injured, and they were both probably exhausted. Neither of them were actually his top and he didn't want to be a bother, so maybe he should just deal with it....

"Oh hey, I was just looking for you."

John almost jumped in surprise, but hopefully Rodney didn't notice. Rodney looked a little better, mostly because someone professional had clearly seen to his arm. He still had dark rings under his eyes and his chin was dark with stubble, but he'd lost the gray pinched look he'd had earlier.

"What's up, McKay?"

"Biro said I needed sleep and it occurred to me that, since you weren't injured...." His voice trailed off. "You weren't, were you?"

John shook his head. "A bruise or two at the most. How's the arm?"

"It hurts, but not as much." Rodney shrugged with one shoulder. "It didn't need stitches, but she wrapped it and put some kind of topical anesthetic on it." He paused and then blinked and shook his head. "Anyway, I realized that you'd been up as long as I had and your day wasn't much easier than mine and since you seem to have a rather reckless disregard for your own welfare...."

"That's not true," John protested.

"So you were heading to bed?" Rodney sounded skeptical.

"No." John took a deep breath. "Actually, I was about to look for you. I wanted to...." Rodney looked at him expectantly and frowned a little when John shook his head. "Oh, never mind. You're right, I should hit the sack."

This time the look was different; he clearly had Rodney's complete attention, and it was a weird feeling, like Rodney could see right through him. All Rodney said, however, was: "I have a kettle in my room. I was planning on having tea before bed; why don't you join me?"

"Tea?" John blinked in surprise, but he followed Rodney to his quarters.

"Yeah, well, it was my mother's cure-all. I prefer coffee but not when I'm already this...." He shrugged. "And since you seem to be a little edgy, too...not that I blame you, of course."

As soon as the doors closed behind them, Rodney pointed at his couch. "Sit."

In spite of the fact that Rodney was always snapping at John and telling him to do this or that, this was the first time it really felt like he'd given John an order. Wondering what that said about his current mindset, John sat down.

After giving him another one of those looks, Rodney turned away and started messing with the kettle and what looked like an improvised hot plate. "It's not tea from Earth, of course, but there's some kind of mild herbal thing the Athosians get from...well, I can't remember, but it's pretty good. It's way too late in the day for that stuff Teyla drinks in the morning."

He actually had a teapot as well as a kettle and John watched in surprise as Rodney spooned tea into a small cloth bag which he then dropped into the pot. "Did you bring all that from Earth?"

"No, I got it from the Athosians. Last time I went to the mainland to work on the solar panels Halling wanted to give me some kind of recompense and even when I said that I get paid pretty well, thank you, he wouldn't take no for an answer. So I asked if anyone had a spare kettle and I ended up with not only the kettle, but the teapot, some cups, the tea and a whole stack of those little bags."

"Guess they appreciate having power."

"Well, they should, and frankly, having me mend solar panels is a complete waste of my time, so I should get something out of it. I just don't want Elizabeth thinking I'm taking advantage."

The kettle whistled, and Rodney poured the water into the pot and then put the pot and a couple of cups on the table in front of the couch. "Do you like your tea sweet?"

"No," John said, and then couldn't help adding, "Lemon if you have any."

"Ha ha ha." Rodney sat down and took a deep breath. "Before I say anything else, I'll ask you to please not yell at me if I'm wrong because, frankly, I've been yelled at enough today."

"Okaaay," John said.

"See, I forget, most of the time. There's always so much going on and really, it doesn't make any difference and...well, you're just you and I forget." He paused.

"Forget what?"

"That you're a sub."

John stared at him in surprise. Surrounded by tops as much as he was here on Atlantis, John could never really forget and it shocked him that Rodney seemed to think it didn't matter. "Oh," was all he said.

"I'm sorry," Rodney said. "I shouldn't have put it that way...look, I'm hardly the most sensitive guy out there. What I mean is that...." He paused with his mouth turned down and flailed a little with his hands and John couldn't help feeling sorry for him.

"It's okay," John said. And it was, in a weird way, because Rodney probably really did forget; he wasn't just saying it to compliment John.

"Sorry," Rodney muttered again. He leaned forward and messed with the teapot and cups for a moment before handing John a cup. It was thick and warm in John's hands and he felt his shoulders relaxing just a little.

"Thanks," he said, breathing in the steam from his cup. He kept his eyes on the dark surface of the tea and added, "I needed something like this."

"Something grounding. I thought so." That made John look up from his cup. "Back there," Rodney said. "In the hall just now, you looked a little...God, really, don't yell at me, but you looked a little lost. Or no, more like uncertain?"

Even though that was almost exactly how John had been feeling, it was still embarrassing that Rodney had noticed. "I...um...yeah," he said and winced, because really, way to make Rodney's point for him. He took a quick sip of his tea.

"During that first week?" John nodded, and Rodney kept going. "When we were settling down and figuring out how things were going to work without Sumner and what we were going to about gate teams and everything? Elizabeth sat down with me and went over some of the military protocols because...."

"Because the ranking officer was suddenly a sub."

"Yeah. Um...maybe it would be better if you talked to her? I'm just not very good at this kind of thing."

John snorted a little. "You're good enough to notice that I was feeling a little...what did you say? Uncertain."

"Oh, that." Rodney waved a dismissive hand. "I've had lovers, you know, and I can be observant when I need to be. But this is different.

"I'm supposed to tell you that you did a good job and that you accomplished the mission and that I'm pleased and proud of you and I am, I really am. Not to mention being incredibly grateful to still be alive, so you know, thank you. But there's probably a knack to telling you that without sounding like a kindergarten teacher and I don't know what it is." He heaved a put upon sigh. "It's not like having a boyfriend. I can't exactly tie you to the bed and make you feel better."

And John, who had learned early on not to say the first thing that came to mind, nevertheless found himself saying, "Why not?"

"Funny," Rodney said, looking hurt.

"I wasn't making a joke." Maybe he hadn't meant to say it, but the more he thought about it, the better the idea seemed. John suspected that Rodney was as bossy and competent in bed as he was in the labs, and bossy and competent was just what John liked. Why he hadn't thought about it until now, he didn't know.

"Really?" Rodney still sounded skeptical.

Moving carefully, John put his cup on the table and then slid off the sofa onto his knees. "Really."

Rodney looked down at him for a long moment without saying anything and John began to feel a little stupid.

"Okay, first you need to tell me what you're looking for," Rodney asked, his voice cautious. "Is this a 'job well done' kind of thing? Because it's not SOP but I hear it happens."

John wanted to get right to the blowjob with maybe a short detour so Rodney could tie him up, but Rodney had given him an order and if they were going to do this, John needed to behave. The problem was....

"No," he said and then sighed. "Yes? Maybe?"

"Oh, well, okay then," Rodney said, rolling his eyes, and John couldn't help smiling a little. Rodney was so very...Rodney. "No problem."

"I used to go to clubs," John said. "After the divorce, when things got to be too much."

"Divorce?" Rodney waved a hand. "Never mind; we'll get to the part where you know my high school science teacher's name and I didn't know you were _married_ later."

He paused and looked at John for a long moment. "So things have gotten to be too much?"

John paused and looked down at the floor.

"Oh, for God's sake, you've had a hell of a day. I've had a hell of a day and just looking at you down there is making my knees ache. You can sit if you like."

"Thanks," John murmured, twisting until he was sitting cross-legged on the floor. It felt oddly good in a way that had nothing to do with his knees. "And do you really want me to bare my psyche to you? Because we might have to negotiate that."

"I just want to know what you need, what you expect to get out of this."

"I'm supposed to be the one asking you what _you_ need."

Rodney shook his head. "Fine. Right now? At this very minute? I need the same thing you do--a good night's sleep." He reached down and rested a hand on John's shoulder. John resisted the urge to turn his head and nuzzle Rodney's hand with his cheek. "C'mon, I think I know of a way to guarantee we get it."

John thought about crawling but given the day he'd had he wasn't sure he could make it look good, so he let Rodney tug him up onto his feet and then lead him to the bed. Once there, Rodney started stripping and said, "You need to get naked too."

Once he was naked John went back down on his knees and Rodney, who was down to his boxers and a pair of tired looking socks, stared at him. "Fuck...."

Pleased that Rodney seemed to like what he saw, John tried not to be too obvious about checking out Rodney in turn. The bandage on Rodney's arm made him want to wince, but he knew better than to say anything that would get Rodney started and derail the rest of the evening. As for the rest of it...well, he'd slept with hotter guys, but this was Rodney, and anyway, if John wanted to be utterly shallow, Rodney was pitching quite the tent in his boxers.

"As good as you look down there, I'd really like to be lying down right now." Rodney reached down and gripped John's bicep and tugged again. John went with it, letting Rodney get him up and onto the bed.

"How do you feel about blowjobs?" Rodney asked after taking his shorts and socks off.

"God yes," John said, probably a little too enthusiastically. He felt the tips of his ears go red.

"Just what I wanted to hear." Rodney settled down on the bed on his back and then put his hand on John's shoulder and pushed. As John slid down the bed in response to the pressure, he wondered if Rodney was always like this or if he'd somehow figured out that John liked being manhandled.

John mouthed at Rodney's dick for a moment, tracing the length and girth of it with his lips before he settled down and slid his mouth over the head. It was big, but not so big John couldn't take it. He started slowly, working his way down and using his tongue when he could. Rodney's hand on his shoulder tightened when John hit a particularly sensitive spot, and John hoped he'd remember that spot for next time. If there was a next time.

Not wanting to think about that, John kept moving his head, taking in a little more of Rodney's cock each time. By the time he had it all, Rodney's fingers were clamped down on his shoulder _hard_ and the slight hint of pain made John hum just a little. Rodney obviously liked that, if the way his hips bucked up was any indication; John only barely managed not to choke. Apprently that was good enough for Rodney; after a slight pause, he began thrusting up into John's mouth and throat and John braced himself with a hand on the bed and just took it.

"Fuck," Rodney muttered. "Oh fuck fuck...yeah, that's it...fuck...." His hand went even tighter on John's shoulder and then John was swallowing and trying not to cough as Rodney came hard.

"Jesus fucking Christ, that was good," Rodney said, gasping like he'd run a couple of miles. His fingers flexed and then he tugged on John's shoulder. "C'mon, get up here."

As soon as John's head was level with Rodney's Rodney rolled him over until John was the one on his back. "Since I only have the one arm available," Rodney said. "I want you to put your arms up over your head and keep them there."

As John obeyed, Rodney looked at him for a long moment. "God...." he said and then bent his head down to kiss John. It was almost gentle at first, like Rodney wasn't sure John wanted to be kissed, but as soon as John opened his mouth just a little, Rodney bit at his lips and then pushed his tongue in and, goddamn, John had never been kissed quite so thoroughly. He moaned into Rodney's mouth and might have even whimpered in the back of his throat, but who could blame him when Rodney was kissing him like he owned John's mouth?

John felt Rodney shift a little, and then he only just managed to keep from biting Rodney's tongue when Rodney slid a hand over his dick. Rodney jerked him off roughly, just the perfect amount of almost painful pressure, and John fought to keep his hips still. It came as a shock when Rodney pulled his mouth away from John's, but then he was sitting up and looking at John, something almost greedy in his expression.

"I want to see you come," Rodney said. "Do you want to do that for me?"

"Please," John gasped out, and he did, God, he really did. "Please please please...." His hands were twisting and his wrists were sore as he pressed them into the pillow to keep them in place. "Please...." he tried again, his voice trailing off because he had no idea what Rodney wanted to be called.

"Yeah," Rodney said roughly. "Go on, John, now!"

"Oh God," John moaned as he came _hard_. It felt fucking amazing, and fuck, he'd forgotten how much he loved this, how good it could be with a real top instead of his own hand and imagination.

He felt weak after, liked he'd washed up on the shore after wiping out on some vicious wave, but he blinked his eyes and tried to focus. If he felt like this, how must Rodney feel? After all, his day had been even worse than John's, and the fact that he'd made sure John got off was surprisingly generous of him. For a moment, John started to get up and then, just in time, he remembered that Rodney hadn't actually told him he could move his arms.

"Oh, you _are_ good," Rodney said, reaching up to brush his hand across one of John's wrists. "It's okay, you can move them."

"Thank you," John said, hoping Rodney realized he was thanking him for much more than permission to move. He sat up just as Rodney settled down in the bed on his side.

"You better just be going to wash up a little," Rodney said, looking up at him. "Because if you think I'm letting you out of here until after you've had some sleep...."

"Are you sure?"

Rodney gave him a look. "Of course I'm sure. I'm always sure."

By the time John had washed up and returned from the bathroom, Rodney was was breathing steadily, his eyes closed. John stood looking down at him for a long time, taking in the mark on his face, the bandage on his arm, the faint shadow of still-forming bruises on his back....

He knew he should leave; things would probably be easier if he left. Getting involved like this with Rodney--always providing this was going to lead to some kind of involvement--was undoubtedly a big mistake.

Then again, John thought, carefully sliding into bed with Rodney, he could say the same thing about so many of the decisions he'd made in his life. Why change now?

"Good," Rodney murmured, his hand sliding a little clumsily up John's back until it rested, warm and heavy on the back of his neck. "Sleep now...talk tomorrow."

 _-the end-_


End file.
